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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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