and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Damn victory sex feels great
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