Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
