so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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