i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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