"it" just moved
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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