um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
