I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
