Porn is love you can see.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
