I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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