dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize