I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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