I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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