Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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