I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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