Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize