"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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