I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I would fuck him just for his dog
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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