We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
