WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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