Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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