Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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