2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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