Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
