Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
