Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's shark week go big or go home
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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