So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I pour the whiskey from now on
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize