It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
