I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
