I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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