i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
