the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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