She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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