clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize