Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
