I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
