Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
