I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
