i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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