Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
