There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Congratulations! We have a period
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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