girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
