i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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