This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
