Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
