im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
