i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
