waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
