What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This is my gift to your gina
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.