Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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