i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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