you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
