so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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