Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
