i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
