Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
