This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
