working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
All the doctor said was why
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize