eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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