I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
