Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
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So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
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I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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